Thursday, January 19, 2017

The 'Not-So-Critical' Critic: UNDERWORLD: BLOOD WARS



The 'Not-So-Critical' Critic: 
on UNDERWORLD: BLOOD WARS (2016, 91 minutes, R)


The Quick of It -
This series has been consistent in producing decent films.  Mind you, nothing that stands out too far with the flooded vampire/werewolf genre from past years but they always deliver something new and exciting.  But they should stop if this is the best they can come up with.  BLOOD WARS was not high on my list after hearing the story teaser and seeing the trailer, and they proved me right in my preliminary assessment.  This was confirmed only five minutes into the film.    

Kate Beckinsale reprises her role as ‘death dealer’ Selene.  She is joined by Theo James (of the DIVERGENT series) as David and Charles Dance (of ‘Game of Thrones’, ALIEN 3, and THE IMITATION GAME).  At the opening, Selene is telling her tale of how the previous films went, as a quick summation.  Then, when she is done, she catches you up on her current situation… which sounds oddly familiar… she is being hunted, again.  How creative.


The heroes are pitted against two decently played villains.  Tobias Menzies (of CASINO ROYALE and ATONEMENT) as a moded werewolf and the backstabbing Lara Pulver (of LIVE, DIE, REPEAT, ‘True Blood’, and ‘Fleming’).  Although fun to watch, their involvement is just a rehash of so many other stories.


Being a vampire film, and having seen a ton of similar plots, this just plain ‘sucks’.  I wanted something new and titillating.  (Movies having sparkly-skin vamps makes me want to use words like ‘titillating’, sorry.)  Director Anna Foerster might be looking to expand to a large format but BLOOD WARS will not open too many doors.  The effects are average and the settings live up to the required inflated elegance.  But nothing to give me pause and say that this is a “must see”.

If you are looking for a quick-fix, you may enjoy this new installment.  If you are looking for something new and inspirational, you can wait all you like… even a vampire’s age if you wish.

Grade: C

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