‘Blu-ray or Bust’ - JASON BOURNE

‘Blu-ray or Bust’

JASON BOURNE (2016, PG-13, 123 minutes, CAPTIVATE ENTERTAINMENT/UNIVERSAL)

I have an issue with every Bourne film that followed the first.

Call me nitpicky, call me boring, call me Shawnita and tell me I’m a horrible hooker—just don’t call me crazy and ignore my complaint. ‘Cause it’s kinda valid, and it is something that has become an underlying problem with almost every action franchise on the market. And, there are plenty of other reasons for calling me “crazy”.

In the first film, THE BOURNE IDENTITY, Bourne, who awakens with amnesia, spends the entire film figuring out that he used to be a government assassin.

In SUPREMACY, he is framed by the CIA, the agency he used to work for.

In ULTIMATIM, the CIA is trying to kill him (again) while he tries to figure out how he was made.

In BOURNE, the CIA head wants him dead because… honestly, does it even matter anymore? CIA this, CIA that; I’m beginning to believe that director Paul Greengrass (of the last two “Bourne” films, and CAPTAIN PHILLIPS) thinks that “CIA” stands for “Completely Ignorant Asshats”. Every film is an agency conspiracy, just like with the MISSION IMPOSSIBLE films, in which the Impossible Missions department gets shut down every film. It's getting’ old, kids.

Sure, there is plenty of action. There are three main action films within this two-hour flick, which are all strung together with plot-like material. Greengrass is a master at creating riveting action scenes, but by the time you get to the end, you are left exhausted and slightly bewildered. It’s almost action movie overload, and, with actors of this caliber, you wonder how anyone had any time to act.

And if one more movie uses Tommy Lee Jones as a government official, I’m going to punch myself in the mummy-and-daddy bits. Like, REALLY FREAKING HARD. I understand typecasting is a problem in Hollywood, but, seriously, would someone please hire this man as a grandpa already? Why pigeonhole the poor guy after so many years in the industry? And car chases… must they always include someone driving on the wrong side of the road? Seriously. GIMME SOMETHING NEW TO COMPLAIN ABOUT, FER CRYIN’ OUT LOUD.

There are several special features, the most entertaining of which breaks down those looooonnng action sequences. As Matt Damon is not only the star of the film, but also a producer, he introduces most of the featurettes. Almost seems kinda contrived, but the man is proud of the film they made, which he should be; Bourne is an older character now, and who knows if there is going to be another.

If there is, he should team up with Tom Cruise, and they can shoot each other’s fictional agencies into oblivion and save us all from yet another formulaic excuse to film some decent action scenes.

Film Grade: C-

Special Features: B

Blu-ray Necessary: If you must, and only if you promise to hit yourself in the spleen really hard.

-- T.S.Kummelman