The 'Not-So-Critical' Critic: MAX STEEL

The 'Not-So-Critical' Critic: 

on MAX STEEL (2016, 92 minutes, PG-13)

The Quick of It -

So, have you heard about this film, MAX STEEL?  Maybe you have if you got a little spawn running around.  It’s based on a toy line from Mattel.  I hadn’t until it came in as a rental.  I watched it and now know why it was not a blip on my radar.

Yes, this will be a ‘quick’ one for sure… as a review goes.  Unless you are a child with the penchant for poorly written (lame ass) stories and sadly performed (I’d rather spend my time watching other people play Minecraft on YouTube) films, go right along and spend the time.  There are moments of well-crafted CGI, but that does nothing to help.  You have been warned.  Even the fun and endearing parasitic robot gets annoying as all hell.   

Grade: D

“Barry Sonnenfeld’s OTHER Love Child: The Awesome Television You May Be Missing on NETFLIX ”

“Barry Sonnenfeld’s OTHER Love Child: The Awesome Television You May Be Missing on NETFLIX ”

A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS (2016, TV-PG, 8 episodes approx. 50 minutes each, NETFLIX ORIGINALS/PARAMOUNT TV)

 

Please, whatever you do, pay close attention to the final sentence in this review—if you have far too little time to read this entire article, hinge the entire message I am attempting to relay upon that sentence itself.

Several years ago, Barry Sonnenfeld produced and directed a television show called “Pushing Daisies” which was an original and superbly written (yet short lived) series. In 2004, Sonnenfeld was an executive producer of the Jim Carey film A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS. “Pushing Daisies” was an incredible breath of freshly written and intimately intelligent television that was, frankly, too good for its time. EVENTS was… well, it was Jim Carey.

Sonnenfeld is back, and his appreciation of the original books, and the storytelling vision he was honing in “Daisies”, has culminated into a Netflix production which not only captures the imagination and propels your need to know the fundamental differences between “figuratively” and “literally”, but also makes you appreciate the fact that Carey ruined any chance of the film spawning a sequel. I occasionally like Jim Carey, but when you watch Neil Patrick Harris taking on the same role that Carey did—and NAILING IT, you realize that Sonnenfeld was a bit ahead of his time with the first iteration. NPH wasn’t ready in 2004, but, holy crap, is he ready now.

As “Count Olaf”, NPH allows his natural theatrical talents to soar. Not overboard, as with Carey, but to the heights of characterization which show not only his range, but his uncanny ability to capture every scene and immediately sink his teeth into it. Oh, and he is not alone. Every stinkin’ actor in this show is the absolute best representation of every literal character to have ever breathed life on the small screen. The casting of the three children, orphaned when their parents are killed in a fire, is a work of genius. The role of “Sunny,” the infant of the trio, is nothing short of brilliant. Seriously. The facial expressions on that baby are amazing. And Patrick “The Tick” Warburton as “Lemony Snicket” is a sweet entremet in a tale of sour foreboding that should not be overlooked.

Even the episodic guest stars represent a range of talent that amazes and elicits chuckles just in the casting. Catherine O’Hara as an evil optometrist, Joan Cusack as a kindly judge, Alfre Woodard as a skittish aunt—hell, the show even has Don ‘Freaking’ Johnson in it! But one of the great regular standouts is the stunning and hilarious performance of K. Todd Freeman as “Mr. Poe”. The moments when he loses his cool are… artistically brilliant.

The show has already been renewed for a second season. For television to capture not only the language and essence of its original material is a rare treat; for it to hit on every artistic level imaginable is unheard of. The attention to detail, not only in the writing of the scripts but also with the intricate detail of every single set, is something that TV hasn’t seen since… well, since “Pushing Daisies”.

Stop whatever you are doing, and go watch this show—you deserve it.

Series Grade: A

-- T.S.Kummelman

‘SKumm’s Thoughts’ - HOLLYWOOD POLYTICS

‘SKumm’s Thoughts’

HOLLYWOOD POLYTICS

I don’t like getting political online. I don’t like discussing politics in general; I know it is an important part of my life as an American citizen, but if I find myself not all that knowledgeable on a subject, I tend to stay out of the discussion.

Kinda like how when my friends start talking about sex, and I fall oddly quiet. Yeah, not much going on there, either.

Movies? I’ll talk your ear off about movies. About directors, cinematographers, writers, actors—I have a butt-load of knowledge in my head about the industry. I studied it in college, and I study it every time I watch a movie or write a review. Hollywood is the one school which never ceases to compel, fascinate, anger, enrapture, and completely capture my imagination. It is a school I will never graduate from, and one that will never allow me to make money from what I have learned from it’s vast library of time and knowledge. (yeah, I write all this for free, kids—honestly, would you pay for the crap I produce?!?)

Now, I know all about history when it comes to American politics. I am certainly well versed in the First Amendment, because I exercise my right to free speech every stinking week, be it here or on my blog. Meryl Streep recently exercised her right to free speech.

Donald Trump responded with his right to speak freely.

You may or may not like what Ms. Streep said, but she came off as reasonably smarter than Mr. Trump, whose response was basically that she is overrated. I have seen people posting insults and hatred in her direction all week, and, seriously, STOP ALREADY.

Actually, no, I take that back. Who am I to tell someone that they cannot say whatever is on their minds? Who am I to say someone is not allowed to voice their opinions, or to stand up for what they believe in? It is a singular and glorious component of our freedom, as Americans, to encourage and practice the wonderful and unarguable right to free speech.

Why should ANY American tell another not to raise up their voices in defiance of what they believe to be wrong? Why would any citizen of this country want to demean another for saying something negative about the person that they voted for? SERIOUSLY.

Wake up, America.

You have the choice to vote for whomever you want, and the choice to defend whomever you feel needs defending. You also have the option of thinking before you do so. You have the responsibility to those that do not have the freedom that you do, people that watch us from other countries, those impoverished and segregated because of their own religious or political beliefs, to show that the right to free speech isn’t just for those that are bullies or dictators. You have the responsibility to not speak with hatred and ignorance just because someone has voiced a political opinion. There is an absolute necessity that you show the world your comments can be intelligent and respectful, and that it reflects the joy in having the freedom to voice your opinion without fear of recrimination.

You see, people in some countries are beaten for opposing the current political regime. Some people are imprisoned, some hanged, for daring to speak out against the wrongs done to them on a daily basis.

When is the last time an American president was allowed to revoke your rights? When is the last time an American president ordered someone beaten or imprisoned because someone voiced a view opposite of their agenda? When is the last time a person of political power in this country told you that you were underrated?

Oh. Yeah. That.

Don’t get me wrong here, kids—I am by no means stepping into the political fray. Don’t have a dog in this fight. What I do have is an appreciation for a woman, a distinguished and charitable woman, who gets up and speaks her mind in a time when political sensitivity is at an all-time (and ridiculously so) time. Trump is a hell of a businessman—I do not have to like or dislike him as a person, because I do not know him personally. But I respect the fact that he has been in the business of making money for as long as he has, and I can respect how far his resolve has gotten him.

Trump is a hell of a businessman, and Streep is a hell of an actress. They both excel in their jobs. They make pretty decent paychecks.

And they both pay taxes.

Their taxes are probably ten thousand times greater than my annual salary.

Now; what right do I have to belittle them, or tell either of them to shut up? Seems to me, I don’t. My opinion of either of them doesn’t really matter here. What does matter is that if we, as individual Americans, are so ready to oppress someone else’s opinion… well, that kinda nullifies the entire “free speech” bit now, doesn’t it? Kinda makes us sound like schoolyard bullies trying to pick a fight.

Kinda makes us all sound like little pompous dictators, doesn’t it?

And you know what? You cannot be a dictator… (wait for it)… without being a dick.

Again, don’t get me wrong, I am not telling anyone to not voice their opinion. And I won’t belittle anyone for doing so. But fellow Americans, do the entire world a favor: LOSE THE HATRED.

You’re better than that.

You are America, for the love of the Sweet Baby Hey-Zeus; start acting like it.

-- T.S. Kummelman

The 'Not-So-Critical' Critic: FENCES

The 'Not-So-Critical' Critic: 

on FENCES (2016, 129 minutes, PG-13)

The Quick of It -

There is nothing like sitting down for a serious and attention-grabbing film in the late hours with an empty theater, a soft pretzel with cheese, and a cold drink.  That is until you realize that you’ve had too much to drink and have to get up in the middle of the story to use the restroom.  Yes, I had the privilege of a private showing, of sorts.  And, if nothing else, FENCES deserves that special consideration.

Denzel Washington sitting in the director’s seat will always motivate me to make time for a heartfelt drama.  This being his third major film, to include THE GREAT DEBATERS and ANTWONE FISHER, you have to take the opportunity when presented.  He is a consummate professional when it comes to the industry and revered by most.

Then you add August Wilson to the formula.  This gentleman won the Pulitzer Prize for ‘Fences’ as a Broadway play.  Once you see this film, you will know why.  And you will understand how Denzel was nominated for the Golden Globe for Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama and why Viola Davis won the Globe for Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in any Motion Picture.  This recognition is well-deserved.  Denzel didn’t get the nod for director, but I believe Wilson would really be the contributor that deserves that credit, so I imagine the ‘Globe Peeps’ looked elsewhere.

The story is about an African-American family in the 1950s.  Denzel plays Troy Maxson, a blue-collar father trying to make a living in a period when major changes are occurring in America.  His past is plagued with horrible circumstances; broken home, time in prison, and surviving World War II.  His wife, Rose, is played by Viola Davis (of SUICIDE SQUAD, THE HELP, and PRISONERS).  Their interaction is one that makes you feel like you are witnessing life at its realist in that time period.  Being based on a play truly helps the dialogue, but can sometimes seem overwhelming, but it is all worth the journey.  The supporting cast was not filled with fluff either – Russell Hornsby (known for ‘Grimm’) and Stephen Henderson, who also appeared in MANCHESTER BY THE SEA, another Golden Globe standout film.  Mykelti Williamson is another spectacular actor added to this ensemble and should be recognized as such.  He plays Gabriel, Troy’s brother, who was severely wounded in the war and has a metal plate in his head.  His character is reminiscent of the tree-chopper in DEVIL IN A BLUE DRESS, another highly recommended Denzel film.

It’s interesting that the film was not recognized for the Globes, as it was shot in a singular style.  You get the sense of a bridging between theater and film.  The scenes were mostly tight frames like a stage, and character approaches were walkthroughs to create a sense of introduction.  The final translation is something of a feat rarly achieved, to give a unique portrayal as if limited to the stage and not implementing any number of storytelling techniques available to the silver screen. 

FENCES may not be high on your list but you should reconsider, as it will bring Broadway to you.  And, if nothing else, it will make you reassess a number of things about life and where you stand in it.

Grade: A-

'Blu-ray or Bust' - MISS PEREGRINE’S HOME FOR PECULIAR CHILDREN

'Blu-ray or Bust'

MISS PEREGRINE’S HOME FOR PECULIAR CHILDREN (2016, PG-13, 127 minutes, 20TH CENTURY FOX)

Tim Burton knows how to tell a good story. His unique visual style is the earmark of several films that you easily recognize as his work. EDWARD SCISSORHANDS, BEETLEJUICE, and PEE WEE’S BIG ADVENTURE are classics of cinema, and all showcases of the magnificently odd.

PEREGRINE is no exception; it blends his naturally creepy side with an author who delved into creepy via old photographs of weird kids. Ransom Riggs’ 2011 young adult novel, which at times reads like a strictly adult one, captured the curiosity of those old, age-worn pictures and pieced together a lovely tale of spooky children and menacing, monstrous adults. Now Burton shows you what Ransom intended visually, and it mostly pays off.

PEREGRINE tells the story of teenage Jake (Asa Butterfield—you’ll remember him as the intense “Ender” from ENDER’S GAME), a socially awkward (weren’t we all) young man caught up in an awkward stage of life. His recently departed grandfather, who told him tales of the titular home of living oddities as a boy, bids him seek out the place for answers concerning said grandfather’s life—and death. The journey from there is ripe with signature Burton touches (he designed the bad guys, and there is even a moment—a rather intense and awful moment—when dolls are brought to life not with the usual CGI, but with the director’s preferred style of stop motion animation). Miss Peregrine herself is played with a confident vitality by Eva Green (Showtime’s “Penny Dreadful”, CASINO ROYALE); she is a no-nonsense caretaker of the children known as “Peculiars”, and her fierceness is that of an over-protective mother. A direct interpretation of the falcon she represents in human form, and a fine portrayal it is.

While Burton chose actors that all fit their roles quite nicely, this is a big budget, effects riddled film, and you lose some of the typical practical effects he was always such a fan of using. These are the moments when the film seems less Burtonesque and more…well, Disney-like. And this ain’t your typical Disney fare.

By hiring on screenwriter Jane Goldman (KICK-ASS, KINGSMAN) to adapt Riggs’ books, Burton shows the confidence he has in other auteurs; by not sticking to the first book scene for scene, there are other opportunities created that clearly dictate this not as a franchise, but more of a complete tale. The ending of the film is entirely different than that of the original work, and there have even been some changes to some of the characters. Diehard fans of the written series might be irritated, but I applaud the changes. No need to suck the public’s pockets and patience dry with five films when you can pack a whole lotta story in an allotted screen time and not waste time with extraneous and unnecessary scenes.

The special features offer something rather unique as well; author Riggs was allowed on the set, and spends an ample amount of time in the first documentary being a fanboy and explaining how he not only accepts the changes made to his material, but his shock at being included in much of what went on. There is also an hour devoted to the Peculiars, and a much lesser amount given to Samuel L. Jackson and the rest of the baddies.

It is refreshing to see Burton still respecting tales created by others, and to see that he is still an author himself, creating visual stories and worlds with the knowing hand of a man who revels in the peculiar. Next, he’ll be revisiting the world of BEETLEJUICE; let us hope his style, and voice, stay intact.

Film Grade: A-

Special Features: A+ (seriously—you give an author the opportunity to peek around the set that you built, based on a world he created, and you’re gettin’ an “A+” from me every time)

Blu-ray Necessary: Indubitably

-- T.S.Kummelman

The 'Not-So-Critical' Critic: ROGUE ONE

The 'Not-So-Critical' Critic: 

on ROGUE ONE (2016, 133 minutes, PG-13)

The Quick of It -

Welcome to the universe that should be. 

To start, fair warning… I am not a huge Star Wars fan.  I have enjoyed the films to certain degrees and I believe George Lucas became a blight to the story in his later years, as was proven with EPISODE I to III (and what happened to Indy, I will never forgive him for that). 

With that said, I believe this to be the best film to date… to include EPISODE VII.  In the hands of a quiet but seemingly exceptional director Gareth Edwards (MONSTERS and GODZILLA), we experience a strong story filled with many ‘memorable’ characters.  The character development and plot progression was a balancing act to quickly build what was given within the short timeframe of one film.  I will admit the breaking away from some of the Star Wars traditions, such as the scrolling intro, felt odd.  This also included some of the music, which they teased a few similar pieces at times.  It wasn’t horrible, but seemed distracting for all the wrong reasons.  Don’t train us like Pavlov’s dog is all I’m sayin’.

The cast was probably at its best for the roles portrayed.  Felicity Jones (of THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING, THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN, and INFERNO) as Jin Erso may not have been ideal but she was surrounded by strong personalities, so may have been drowned out.  She plays a stereotyped bad-girl, a challenger of authority, and is asked to aid the Alliance in finding her father at the start.  Diego Luna, who will be the lead in the upcoming remake for FLATLINERS, carried much of the core story’s heart and interest.  He played a crafty and duty-driven spy, Cassian Andor, who was accompanied by the story’s comedic element, droid K-2SO (voiced by Alan Tudyk, of ‘Firefly’ fame).  Cassian has been asked to do many horrible things to further the rebel cause, but now finds himself able to do something worthy of his skills and a means to redemption.  They pull together a small force of rebels to infiltrate an Imperial base to steal the Death Star plans.

Although knowing the outcome, the plot keeps you quickly moving forward to an epic encounter.  The finale seems to act as a compilation of all those awesome battle scenes you’ve ever wanted in a Star Wars film.  X-Wings flying over sparkling beaches, AT-ATs blasting through Rebel ground forces, and stormtroopers hitting their marks.  There was no holding back, and it made for better storytelling.  Hopefully, this is a defining moment and will raise the bar for later films.

Grade: A-

PS - Vader does kick some serious butt!

‘Blu-ray or Bust’ - JASON BOURNE

‘Blu-ray or Bust’

JASON BOURNE (2016, PG-13, 123 minutes, CAPTIVATE ENTERTAINMENT/UNIVERSAL)

I have an issue with every Bourne film that followed the first.

Call me nitpicky, call me boring, call me Shawnita and tell me I’m a horrible hooker—just don’t call me crazy and ignore my complaint. ‘Cause it’s kinda valid, and it is something that has become an underlying problem with almost every action franchise on the market. And, there are plenty of other reasons for calling me “crazy”.

In the first film, THE BOURNE IDENTITY, Bourne, who awakens with amnesia, spends the entire film figuring out that he used to be a government assassin.

In SUPREMACY, he is framed by the CIA, the agency he used to work for.

In ULTIMATIM, the CIA is trying to kill him (again) while he tries to figure out how he was made.

In BOURNE, the CIA head wants him dead because… honestly, does it even matter anymore? CIA this, CIA that; I’m beginning to believe that director Paul Greengrass (of the last two “Bourne” films, and CAPTAIN PHILLIPS) thinks that “CIA” stands for “Completely Ignorant Asshats”. Every film is an agency conspiracy, just like with the MISSION IMPOSSIBLE films, in which the Impossible Missions department gets shut down every film. It's getting’ old, kids.

Sure, there is plenty of action. There are three main action films within this two-hour flick, which are all strung together with plot-like material. Greengrass is a master at creating riveting action scenes, but by the time you get to the end, you are left exhausted and slightly bewildered. It’s almost action movie overload, and, with actors of this caliber, you wonder how anyone had any time to act.

And if one more movie uses Tommy Lee Jones as a government official, I’m going to punch myself in the mummy-and-daddy bits. Like, REALLY FREAKING HARD. I understand typecasting is a problem in Hollywood, but, seriously, would someone please hire this man as a grandpa already? Why pigeonhole the poor guy after so many years in the industry? And car chases… must they always include someone driving on the wrong side of the road? Seriously. GIMME SOMETHING NEW TO COMPLAIN ABOUT, FER CRYIN’ OUT LOUD.

There are several special features, the most entertaining of which breaks down those looooonnng action sequences. As Matt Damon is not only the star of the film, but also a producer, he introduces most of the featurettes. Almost seems kinda contrived, but the man is proud of the film they made, which he should be; Bourne is an older character now, and who knows if there is going to be another.

If there is, he should team up with Tom Cruise, and they can shoot each other’s fictional agencies into oblivion and save us all from yet another formulaic excuse to film some decent action scenes.

Film Grade: C-

Special Features: B

Blu-ray Necessary: If you must, and only if you promise to hit yourself in the spleen really hard.

-- T.S.Kummelman