The 'Not-So-Critical' Critic: THE SNOWMAN

The 'Not-So-Critical' Critic: 

on THE SNOWMAN (2017, 119 minutes, R)

The Quick of It -

I made the joke about this being a Christmas movie on social media before sitting down to watch.  Probably should have used the time to watch some Frosty instead.

THE SNOWMAN, based on a novel by Jo Nesbo, promises to be much more than what was delivered.  The casting seems impressive with Michael Fassbender at the lead.  The setting could not be more fitting for a bleak atmosphere, centering on a serial killer.  The possible clever moments filled with twists and turns can easily be exploited to make a captivating story.  Ahhh, why screw it up?  I would have rather had my &^%$# frozen to see this plot work than have wasted the potential.

The list of things that bother me can be summed up in a few points.  The scenes are disjointed and there is nothing new or innovative to find along the way.  So bad that it looked like this could be a tribute film to Hitchcock based on the opening.  Nope.  You get a variation of filming styles and shuffled editing, confusing the chance for something chillingly brilliant.  Then, the characters are more like caricatures, flat and unimpressive.  Yes, they work angles for sympathy, so you can buy into their plight.  The most effective approach is, unfortunately, the bad guy.  That is a no-no for the destructive nature needed to get you on the edge of your seat, fearing the worst to come.  I would say no spoilers are included, but if you interpret what I say correctly, everything is nearly spoiled.  And yes, the cinematography does not save this film in my eyes.  I only looked forward to the snowmen left behind after the halfway point in the film, which dragged the whole way through.

Director Tomas Alfredson did it ‘right’ with LET THE RIGHT ONE IN and TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY.  He gets a pass for now, but no do-over.  This one is a melted tragedy.

Grade: D+

P.S.  Val Kilmer is looking rough.  So bad, one scene they hide his face so you don’t see his struggle to speak coherently.  A sad moment for us 80’s children.