Tuesday, April 5, 2016

'Blu-ray or Bust' - STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS


'Blu-ray or Bust'
STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS (2015, PG-13, 135 minutes, LUCASFILM LTD/DISNEY)


 My first introduction to the phenomenon which was STAR WARS was with toys.

In 1977, I was an eight-year-old member of an Army family stationed in Germany. There was one theatre on base, and when I first held the tiny figure of Luke Skywalker in my left hand, and the terribly cool-looking Darth Vader in the other, I had absolutely no clue what I was looking at. The film had yet to reach our tiny little place in the galaxy, and previews on base television didn’t include blockbuster films. And toys back then…the only action figures I had at the time were a foot-tall G.I. Joe with a fuzzy beard, and an Evil Knievel that was permanently attached to the motorcycle you wound up and let fly—usually in the general direction of the fuzzy-bearded G.I. Joe.

You younger generation have no idea how good you have it with your Twitters and your You Tubes and your smartphone-controlled whatsits; there was no social media back then, and the only drones were your third-grade math teachers. Hell, I’m not sure Al Gore had even been invented yet.


It was not until we returned to the states that my aunt took me to see the film, and I was forever ruined by George Lucas’s creation. All I wanted from that point forward was Star Wars figures and play sets. I was a card-carrying member of the Star Wars Fan Club, I had the records and storybooks, stickers and folders, and was a rebel for thinking that the Tie-Fighter was cooler than the X-Wing.

Until one day, I woke up, and puberty bludgeoned my brain into a bout of stupid so strong that I thought I was too old to still be playing with toys. What did I do in this moment of supreme idiocy?

I GAVE THEM ALL TO MY EIGHT YEAR OLD BROTHER.

Decades later, and I still have not forgiven myself. Not because I don’t want to play with toys; I look at puberty as an act of betrayal, one in which your little brain convinces your big brain that your time is better spent pining after “romantic” interests. And by “romantic interests”, I mean the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, Christie Brinkley, and Porsche 911 Carrera’s. I can still hear Admiral Akbar’s words, ringing through my skull: “It’s a trap!”

Stupid puberty.


The latest iterations of Lucas’s genius were far less interesting, and not nearly as good, as the original trilogy. THE PHANTOM MENACE was just plain stupid (acting…oh, Sweet Baby Hey-Zeus, the acting…), and, quite frankly, boring. Leave it to JJ Abrams to breathe new life into the slowly dying body which was STAR WARS. He does so with a flair borne of fandom, and when you watch the special features on this disc, you see that he put together a cast in front of and behind the cameras that not only respects the groundwork laid by the originals, but also seemingly loved by them all. This plays like the greatest fan fiction ever brought to life. You won’t mind much that some of the ideas seem a tad re-hashed (ooo, look out everybody, it’s another Death Star…), and that sometimes that signature Abrams camera-work is just a little heavy handed (ooo, look out everybody, it’s another flash of light…) (right next to that giant Death Star…).

It is all due to the fact that Abrams does things you always wanted to see, but never thought of. The Millennium Falcon throwing up a water trail as it zips over a lake; a light-saber fight in the snow, in darkness; a cast that feels natural and relatable; and humor…not just in punch lines, but humor provided by the delivery of a cast member, or the familial nod to something you cherished from one of the prior films. Please know that I am no STAR WARS expert; what I am is a lifelong fan of a story which has regained my interest and my imagination.

It worries me that Abrams will not be directing the next installment. And that another key figure will not be returning (no spoilers here, kids). Just know that if the final chapters in this story are as engaging as this one is, Abrams (who will still be on as a producer) and company have put forth an effort that you haven’t seen in decades. And, hey—keep a better eye on your toys than I did. Screw puberty and its evil machinations!

VIVA LA HASBRO REVOLUTION!!!


Grade: A
Special Features: A+
Blu-ray Necessary: (honestly, if you need an answer to this question, there is a serious problem with our relationship…)


-- T.S. Kummelman


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