'Blu-ray or Bust'
STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS (2015, PG-13, 135 minutes,
LUCASFILM LTD/DISNEY)
My first introduction to the phenomenon which was STAR WARS
was with toys.
In 1977, I was an eight-year-old member of an Army family
stationed in Germany. There was one theatre on base, and when I first held the
tiny figure of Luke Skywalker in my left hand, and the terribly cool-looking
Darth Vader in the other, I had absolutely no clue what I was looking at. The
film had yet to reach our tiny little place in the galaxy, and previews on base
television didn’t include blockbuster films. And toys back then…the only action
figures I had at the time were a foot-tall G.I. Joe with a fuzzy beard, and an
Evil Knievel that was permanently attached to the motorcycle you wound up and
let fly—usually in the general direction of the fuzzy-bearded G.I. Joe.
You younger generation have no idea how good you have it
with your Twitters and your You Tubes and your smartphone-controlled whatsits;
there was no social media back then, and the only drones were your third-grade
math teachers. Hell, I’m not sure Al Gore had even been invented yet.
It was not until we returned to the states that my aunt took
me to see the film, and I was forever ruined by George Lucas’s creation. All I
wanted from that point forward was Star Wars figures and play sets. I was a
card-carrying member of the Star Wars Fan Club, I had the records and
storybooks, stickers and folders, and was a rebel for thinking that the
Tie-Fighter was cooler than the X-Wing.
Until one day, I woke up, and puberty bludgeoned my brain
into a bout of stupid so strong that I thought I was too old to still be
playing with toys. What did I do in this moment of supreme idiocy?
I GAVE THEM ALL TO MY EIGHT YEAR OLD BROTHER.
Decades later, and I still have not forgiven myself. Not
because I don’t want to play with toys; I look at puberty as an act of
betrayal, one in which your little brain convinces your big brain that your
time is better spent pining after “romantic” interests. And by “romantic
interests”, I mean the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, Christie Brinkley,
and Porsche 911 Carrera’s. I can still hear Admiral Akbar’s words, ringing
through my skull: “It’s a trap!”
Stupid puberty.
The latest iterations of Lucas’s genius were far less
interesting, and not nearly as good, as the original trilogy. THE PHANTOM
MENACE was just plain stupid (acting…oh, Sweet Baby Hey-Zeus, the acting…),
and, quite frankly, boring. Leave it to JJ Abrams to breathe new life into the
slowly dying body which was STAR WARS. He does so with a flair borne of fandom,
and when you watch the special features on this disc, you see that he put
together a cast in front of and behind the cameras that not only respects the
groundwork laid by the originals, but also seemingly loved by them all. This
plays like the greatest fan fiction ever brought to life. You won’t mind much
that some of the ideas seem a tad re-hashed (ooo, look out everybody, it’s
another Death Star…), and that sometimes that signature Abrams camera-work is
just a little heavy handed (ooo, look out everybody, it’s another flash of
light…) (right next to that giant Death Star…).
It is all due to the fact that Abrams does things you always
wanted to see, but never thought of. The Millennium Falcon throwing up a water
trail as it zips over a lake; a light-saber fight in the snow, in darkness; a
cast that feels natural and relatable; and humor…not just in punch lines, but
humor provided by the delivery of a cast member, or the familial nod to something
you cherished from one of the prior films. Please know that I am no STAR WARS
expert; what I am is a lifelong fan of a story which has regained my interest
and my imagination.
It worries me that Abrams will not be directing the next
installment. And that another key figure will not be returning (no spoilers
here, kids). Just know that if the final chapters in this story are as engaging
as this one is, Abrams (who will still be on as a producer) and company have
put forth an effort that you haven’t seen in decades. And, hey—keep a better
eye on your toys than I did. Screw puberty and its evil machinations!
VIVA LA HASBRO REVOLUTION!!!
Grade: A
Special Features: A+
Blu-ray Necessary: (honestly, if you need an answer to this
question, there is a serious problem with our relationship…)
-- T.S. Kummelman
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