"SKumm’s Thoughts" - X-FILES - WEEK VI

"SKumm’s Thoughts"

X-FILES - WEEK VI

“The X Files” (FOX, 1993, 9 Seasons)

Hopefully, you’ve watched the first X-Files movie, THE X FILES (aka, FIGHT THE FUTURE).  Season six picks up shortly after where the film ended, riding high on the film’s momentum and success.  And on its big budgeted coattails, the sixth season is bigger, bolder, and louder than all the previous seasons.  The influence the film makes is obvious in the cinematography, the stories, and the musical score.  This is the season that will re-inspire your binging of The X-Files, just in case you were starting to get burned out…

SEASON 6

Episode 1: The Beginning

The X-Files have been reinstated, but guess who isn’t running them anymore?  Mulder and Scully don’t let that stop them, however, as they track one of the belly-aliens to the West, where it is killing people.  The psychic chess champion is back, as are all of the major players.  This episode looks like a movie, plays out like a movie, and ends as you fully expect it would.

Episode 2: Drive (The One With Bryan Cranston)

Before he was making meth in a camper, he lived in a trailer.  Cranston guest stars as “You Call Me Mister” Crump who has a condition that will kill him if he isn’t moving over seventy miles per hour.  And he’s got Mulder for a chauffeur.  Which is good, because we all know how Scully drives… (Digital Drawback: The Mullet)

Episode 3: Triangle

Mulder winds up on a British luxury liner which disappeared in the Bermuda Triangle in 1939... and there are a bunch of Nazi’s on board.  Swell.  But the real story here is the breakneck “action” scene which has Scully going from office to office trying to obtain info that could help pinpoint Mulder’s last location.  Shot in a way that leaves little room for error, this “long-take” incorporates a few tricks to make it stretch the entire length of a segment between commercial breaks.  Anderson does a hell of a job keeping the pace, and even though you might be able to discern where the actual breaks in filming were, the choreography of the scene is a wonder to behold.  Oh, and: The Lone Gunmen.

Episodes 4 & 5: Dreamland/Dreamland II (The Ones With Lenny)

Mulder switches bodies with Michael McKean, a guy that works in Area 51.  Wasted opportunity, in that Mulder uncharacteristically doesn’t try to delve deeper into the mysteries there.  But totally awesome to see McKean and Duchovny act like other people.  Also important - McKean is reprising his role of Morris Fletcher for the revival airing next year.  (Digital Drawback: while the opposing reflections dance is kinda cool, they don’t quite match…)

Episode 6: How the Ghosts Stole Christmas (The One with Ed Asner and Lilly Tomlin)

Fun episode in which two ghosts screw with Mulder and Scully on Christmas Eve.  Not required viewing, but oh my stars and garters, how I want that study!

Episode 7: Terms of Endearment (The One with Bruce “Ash” Campbell)

Ash stars as a guy with two wives, trying to have the perfect babies.  Only he may not be an actual guy.  Good performances with a classic twist that totally leaves the ending wide open for future shenanigans.  Required viewing because HEY!  It’s Bruce "Freaking" Campbell.

Episodes 11 & 12: Two Fathers/One Son

Veronica Cartwright (from Season 5, episodes 13 & 14) is back after her abduction, and she isn’t quite the woman she used to be.  This arc includes The Mystery Train and the Eyes-Sewn-Shut Alien Brigade.  (Digital Drawback: Wait…when did the window on the van break in the opening scene?...) (D.D. #2: That is, quite possibly, the hairiest ear hole on the planet.  Seriously.)

Episode 13: Agua Mala

Arthur Dales, the guy that started the X-Files way back when is back, and living in Florida.  A hurricane stirs up a deep-sea nasty and he calls in the agents to investigate.  A fun MOTW episode, and the production value is reminiscent of earlier improved quality.

Episode 14: Monday

A woman keeps reliving the same day over and over again—the day her boyfriend robs a bank and kills everyone inside, including Mulder and Scully.  Another well-written MOTW, which seemed predominant this season.  Has nothing at all to do with the alien conspiracy but it is an edge-of-your-seat ride.

Episode 18: Milagro (The One With John Hawkes)

Hawkes guest stars as a writer living next to Mulder whose written creation comes to life (wish I knew how he did it—if I can figure it out, my room is going to be jam-packed with dirty bikini models and several loofas).  As has been hinted at since season five, we get more hints as to Mulder and Scully’s true feelings for each other.

Episode 19: The Unnatural

This time it’s Arthur Dales’ less famous brother telling Mulder a story of days gone by.  Mainly, about a baseball playing alien.  And racism.  And the alien bounty hunter is back.

Episode 21: Field Trip

MOTW, yes, but an excellent tale that again belies the humble beginnings of this show.  Makes you appreciate the influence the film had on this season.  The agents are investigating the sudden decomposition of a husband and wife on a mountainside.  And there are mushrooms.  Yummy.

Episode 22: Biogenesis

This is the episode that rocks Scully’s world and sees Mulder institutionalized.  If you’ve felt a sort of disconnect from Mulder lately, this one kind of seals the deal.  That feeling bleeds over into Season Seven—but hey, I’m getting ahead of myself.  This season finale deals with ancient Indian writings, a big-ass space ship, and religion. (Digital Drawback: why does the space ship keep disappearing?  And is that the same rock in the background?...)

T.S. Kummelman

"SKumm's Thoughts" - BLOODSUCKING BASTARDS

"SKumm's Thoughts"

BLOODSUCKING BASTARDS (2015, UR, 86 minutes, FORTRESS FEATURES/SCREAM FACTORY)

Ahhh, work!  That sunny place you look forward to every Monday morning, the place where you can go to get away from your troubles and be free!  The place where your boss is trying to actually kill you!

Taking the ideals laid down by OFFICE SPACE and FRIGHT NIGHT, BASTARDS throws everything in the microwave with several sharp, metallic utensils, and sets the timer for 80 minutes after covering the mess with tinfoil.  This is a flat out horror comedy with barrels full of fake blood.  And, unfortunately for you, it is in EXTREMELY limited release.  Meaning it is only playing at one theatre in Florida right now.

Good luck.

Fran Kranz (THE CABIN IN THE WOODS) stars as “Evan”, on office drone that is sure he is a shoe-in for sales manager... until an old college enemy steps in and takes the job.  The resulting vampire takeover is funny (most of the time) and gory.  The highlight of the cast is Evan’s best friend “Tim” (Joey Kern of TV’s “Chosen”); Kern’s delivery and his chemistry with every other cast member is palpable, and downright hilarious.  Plus, the dude is a spitting image of an early Matthew McConaughey. 

Written and directed by Brian James O’Connell (who also gives credit to a comedy troupe he is a member of—they call themselves “Dr. God”), there are a few jokes that are just too obvious.  Sometimes, the movie threatens to fall into SUPER TROOPERS territory, which is a shame.  This film is too good to cheapen itself.  But redemption usually lies right around the corner, and typically from the wonderful supporting cast.

Another charming aspect of this production is the reliance on practical effects.  No CGI needed, as no one ever feels the urge to fly or sparkle.  Refreshing, in that, even if you know where this film is headed, you are unsure of the path which it will take.

Lucky for you, the movie is currently available On Demand.  It is well worth the seven bucks for the rental.  It isn’t perfect, but for a low budget film with a watchable cast and a humorous script, it beats some of the turds currently available in every cineplex across the country.  Hell, the title alone should be worth the seven bucks…

Grade: B

'Blu-ray or Bust' - MAD MAX: FURY ROAD

'Blu-ray or Bust'

MAD MAX: FURY ROAD (2015, R, 120 minutes, VILLAGE ROADSHOW/WARNER BROTHERS)

George Miller is a lunatic.

The man who brought us one of the greatest action films of all time, THE ROAD WARRIOR, has tried to outdo himself.  Yes, it has been decades since we saw Max Rockatansky roaring across our screens, and we the viewers are the better for it.

Tom Hardy stars as “Mad Max”, a widower ex-cop trying to survive the apocalypse.  He encounters Imperator Furiosa (Charlize Theron, unrecognizable yet still awesome), a woman trying to escape The Citadel with five women who have been used as breeding stock for the sickly warlord Immortan Joe (and if you think Miller’s knack for coming up with interesting names is the awesome part of his personality, you ain’t seen nothing yet—one of the character’s names is “Toast the Knowing”…).  What results is a carefully choreographed ballet of mayhem.

This film starts with an action sequence, moves on to a chase scene, gives you three minutes to breathe, then jams a race scene into your gob.  It is two glorious hours of the best practical effects and stunt work you will see this year.  The action does the talking; there is not a whole lot of dialogue in this film, but you won’t notice; Miller makes it a point of telling you in the special features that these characters really only talk when it is necessary.  He gets his point across with action, and allows his actors to express everything you need to know by their reactions to the destruction going on around them.

There really is no weak link in the characters to speak of.  Whereas BEYOND THUNDERDOME was an exercise in egos, FURY is a love letter to the vehicular stunts and feministic escapism of the seventies.  No, there is not a whole lot of orated exposition on the plight of post-apocalyptic women.  You know what has been done to them is wrong, and you root for them for reasons other than that they are all gorgeous and half-naked.

The special features on the disc are all must-sees.  One thing you will notice while watching the film is the attention to detail; the documentaries included drive that point home.  From the construction of the vehicles to the deconstruction of the characters, there are so many minute details you will have missed the first time that you’ll want to revisit the film again to try and catch it all.  This is a must on Blu-ray; explosions, flying dust and bodies, and the desert never looked as pretty as it does here.

While another MAX film has been announced (titled THE WASTELAND), a release date is unknown.  I’m perfectly fine with it taking him another decade or two to come out if it means the same amount of love he poured into this outing.  There’s nothing like an insanely gleeful post-apocalypse to get the adrenaline pumping.

Film Grade: A

Special Features: A+

Blu-ray Necessary: Most definitely

T.S. Kummelman

"Obscurities and Abject Pandering: What You’re Missing on NETFLIX"

"Obscurities and Abject Pandering: What You’re Missing on NETFLIX"

NEW ARRIVALS

Horror/Drama

BYZANTIUM

(2012, R, 118 minutes, DEMAREST FILMS)

The best vampire films are usually the ones that have no sparkle to them.  Lately, auteurs of the classic genre are being more poetic and artistic than, say, oh, ANYONE AND EVERYONE THAT HAD ANYTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH THE STUPID “TWILIGHT” “MOVIES”.  Sorry.  Case in point is the beautifully haunting tale of a mother and daughter trying to survive in a seaside town.  Their secret is that they themselves are the hunters, each having been transformed centuries ago.  The portrayal of modern undead survival is gritty and visceral, gory at times but painfully realistic with every emotion on display.  Yes, deep down, this is a love story.  But it is also about sacrifice and need, and rises high above crap like, say, oh, FREAKING “TWILIGHT”.

Sci Fi/Drama

INFINI

(2015, R, 110 minutes, STORM VISION ENTERTAINMENT)

 

Straight-to-video science fiction is usually a marketplace for turds.  Cheaply produced with horrible actors and even worse directors, these “films” usually fall in the category of “so bad they suck mosquito nipples”.  But occasionally, you come across an amazing piece of filmmaking.  Well acted, well written, and awesomely produced, INFINI is probably THE BEST science fiction film you will find on Netflix right now.  I know, because I’ve watched some pretty stinky turds.  Starring Australian actor Daniel MacPherson, the film centers on a tiny mining station at the edge of the universe, and the lone survivor of a contagion trying to get back home to his pregnant wife.  A military rescue team is sent to retrieve Carmichael, and all hell breaks loose.  MacPherson is stellar in his performance as Whit Carmichael; in fact, the entire cast does a great job.  And the production value of this film…the attention to every tiny detail is absorbing and fascinating.  There is some CGI, but the practical effects are done well enough so that any animation you see is more a compliment than it is a distraction.  Be prepared to be engrossed after the first fifteen minutes; there is an unrelenting building of tension that releases its grasp on you only when the credits start to roll.  In fact, the unexpected climax of the film is not a gun-fight or a race against time, but rather a psychological exercise in proving a lie to be truth.  I rank this one right up there with EVENT HORIZON.  Don’t pass it up.

Drama

WHITE GOD

(2014, R, 121 minutes, FILMPARTNERS/MAGNET RELEASING)

This Hungarian coming-of-age tale is like a fractured fable for adults.  Lili is a young girl forced to stay with her estranged father for three months; the problem is that he despises her mixed-breed dog, and one day sets “Hagen” loose on the side of a busy highway.  The subsequent chain of events constructs a plateau with some startling images.  At times the film will take your breath away, and at others will make you cringe at the fallacies of man.  There is a lesson in love and growth here; as we watch Lili, played by the wonderful Zsófia Psotta, mature through her adolescence, we too see Hagen’s journey through cruelty at the hands of his “masters”.  Terribly moving, absorbing, and original, watch this one before Hollywood snaps up the rights and ruins this remarkable film with a remake called “Dog-mageddon”…

Instead of: BURYING THE EX (a not-so-funny horror comedy about a guy’s domineering ex-girlfriend that comes back from the grave—good effects, bad writing)

Watch: ALL CHEERLEADERS DIE (zombie cheerleaders trying to finish high school—it’s a horror film, it’s a comedy, it’s a social commentary—in short, it’s awesome)

Instead of: AREA 51 (a boring-ass “found footage” film of three people breaking into the famed military base—it takes over fifty minutes of “movie” for them to get onto the base, and then another twenty-five to get abducted…and you’d rather see these horrible actors meet horrifying deaths than think aliens are taking them as plausible representations of the human race…)

Watch: THE MONSTER SQUAD (the 1987 “family friendly” film has enough bad language and slurs to make you wonder how you made it through your childhood without a filthy mouth—a group of adolescents go up against classic movie monsters)

Make up a queue kids, and put me to work!  Suggestions are always welcome, so get creative!  I’m always up to new challenges!

T.S. Kummelman

"SKumm’s Thoughts" - THE X-FILES

"SKumm’s Thoughts"
THE X-FILES ( 1998, PG-13, 121 Minutes, TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX)

Yes, this is where Season Six would be.  However, Fox went and pulled a fast one on fans after the fifth season—they went and made a big production out of things.

Originally titled THE X FILES: FIGHT THE FUTURE, which, if you ask me, is a stupid sounding title, the film made almost a hundred million worldwide in its theatrical release.  Not bad for a hit TV show’s first foray into Hollywood, but probably not as much as the studio was hoping.

Yet you shouldn’t judge a movie by its returns, I always say (which is probably the main reason why I don’t have a job in the industry) (besides the obvious reason of location).  The film itself is a tight, engaging tale.  Several themes are revisited from the show, Mulder gets to cuss, and the gore-factor is amped up a bit.  Season six starts off with a “previously on” bit that flashes a few scenes from the film, but not enough to tell you what happened.

The movie is an important watch because of the story—events from the film are mentioned in the first half of the season, and you don’t want to be totally lost.  Normally, I don’t do spoilers.  Yet the fact that I wound up having to rent this online shows you that that is probably the only way you are going to have access to the film.  It isn’t on Netflix, and I could not find it at Best Buy, Target, or Movie Stop.

Therefore: SPOILERS.

There is an alien borne of the black goo in the ground, unearthed by some kids. Government types swoop in and take over the area.  Mulder and Scully are on a homeland security case that goes horribly wrong.  They are investigating that when they get wind of the alien conspiracy having something to do with the destruction of the building they were trying to protect.  From there, we get more bees, more of “the X-Files is shut down,” more of The Smoking Man, more conspiracy, a moment when Mulder and Scully ALMOST make out, a bee-infected Scully, a clandestine cure, a trip to the Antarctic, and a giant freaking UFO.

That’s the major stuff, anyways.  A good film, well-paced and well told.  And you really should watch it before you start on the sixth season.

T.S. Kummelman

The 'Not-So-Critical' Critic: A WALK IN THE WOODS

The 'Not-So-Critical' Critic: 

on A WALK IN THE WOODS (2015, 104 minutes, R)

The Quick of It -

Well, it seems the trend to push movies that have a 'get back to nature' theme is hot in Hollywood.  A WALK IN THE WOODS stars Robert Redford (Bill Bryson) and Nick Nolte (Stephen Katz) as estranged friends coming together to walk the Appalachian Trail.  Based on the book by Bill Bryson and directed by Ken Kwapis (also known for THE SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS and LICENSE TO WED), this one unfortunately doesn't carry that deeper look into the human condition, to make you think long and hard after watching.  If nothing, it inspires you to load up and head out on an arduous hike.  Where Reese Witherspoon's WILD highlighted a woman coming to terms with the lose of her mother, Bryson and Katz struggle with their silver years.  The story is there and subtly told, but this one is a tired tale that many other films have reflected on and been more meaningful.

Watching these two very different personalities clash plays out more like a more grounded friendship than an 'odd couple' formula, which was refreshing.  I will have to say that the hardest part watching them play older roles is realizing that they are indeed older actors.  As this generation's old guard in Hollywood transitions out of their careers, I wonder who is there to take there place.

Grade: B

The 'Not-So-Critical' Critic: on THE GUNMAN

The 'Not-So-Critical' Critic: 

on THE GUNMAN (2015, 115 minutes, R)

The Quick of It -

In this action / drama, Sean Penn plays a sniper (Terrier) working for a corporation who is running 'covert missions' in the Republic of Congo.  The story starts off with his being tasked to kill the Minister of Mining.  This assassination requires him to go underground afterward and has a major impact on his psyche over the long term.  Jumping eight years forward, he returns to the Congo and is quickly made the target of a hit squad.  The plot follows his progress in discovering who wants him dead. 

I would imagine director Pierre Morel (known for TRANSPORTER and FROM PARIS WITH LOVE) had an easier time with Sean Penn as the lead but I almost expect there could have been difficulty.  Penn is such an intense actor, and with his directing background, you would think strong personalities on the set could clash but there is nothing to believe this the case as I watched.  The style in which it was shot, the movie (based on the novel "The Prone Gunman" by Jean-Patrick Manchette) almost felt like a 'based on a true story' film and had an agenda to shed light on the turbulence in the Congo.  But this also doesn't disrupt the high level of cinematography for the chosen locations and a pace that culminates in a thrilling conclusion. 

I went in not sure I would enjoy but was pleasantly surprised.  The location choices with the intense level of skill used in the gunplay sold me on this at first 'questionable choice' for a review.  Penn still keeps to a high level of choice projects and it pays off.

Grade: B

PS - Sean Penn proves that Hugh Jackman has at least eight more years as Wolverine.  He is totally ripped!