Thursday, September 10, 2015

"SKumm's Thoughts" - BLOODSUCKING BASTARDS




"SKumm's Thoughts"
BLOODSUCKING BASTARDS (2015, UR, 86 minutes, FORTRESS FEATURES/SCREAM FACTORY)

Ahhh, work!  That sunny place you look forward to every Monday morning, the place where you can go to get away from your troubles and be free!  The place where your boss is trying to actually kill you!

Taking the ideals laid down by OFFICE SPACE and FRIGHT NIGHT, BASTARDS throws everything in the microwave with several sharp, metallic utensils, and sets the timer for 80 minutes after covering the mess with tinfoil.  This is a flat out horror comedy with barrels full of fake blood.  And, unfortunately for you, it is in EXTREMELY limited release.  Meaning it is only playing at one theatre in Florida right now.

Good luck.

Fran Kranz (THE CABIN IN THE WOODS) stars as “Evan”, on office drone that is sure he is a shoe-in for sales manager... until an old college enemy steps in and takes the job.  The resulting vampire takeover is funny (most of the time) and gory.  The highlight of the cast is Evan’s best friend “Tim” (Joey Kern of TV’s “Chosen”); Kern’s delivery and his chemistry with every other cast member is palpable, and downright hilarious.  Plus, the dude is a spitting image of an early Matthew McConaughey. 

Written and directed by Brian James O’Connell (who also gives credit to a comedy troupe he is a member of—they call themselves “Dr. God”), there are a few jokes that are just too obvious.  Sometimes, the movie threatens to fall into SUPER TROOPERS territory, which is a shame.  This film is too good to cheapen itself.  But redemption usually lies right around the corner, and typically from the wonderful supporting cast.


Another charming aspect of this production is the reliance on practical effects.  No CGI needed, as no one ever feels the urge to fly or sparkle.  Refreshing, in that, even if you know where this film is headed, you are unsure of the path which it will take.

Lucky for you, the movie is currently available On Demand.  It is well worth the seven bucks for the rental.  It isn’t perfect, but for a low budget film with a watchable cast and a humorous script, it beats some of the turds currently available in every cineplex across the country.  Hell, the title alone should be worth the seven bucks…

Grade: B

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