The 'Not-So-Critical' Critic:
on BEAUTY
AND THE BEAST (2017, 129 minutes, PG)
The Quick of It -
Okay, so I’m sitting here writing a review to a movie that is a
live-action remake of a classic Disney film.
This is not all that big of a deal these days as times have changed in
Hollywood. We’ve had CINDERELLA, the
ALICE’s, and JUNGLE BOOK come through the wash, with plenty more on the
way. Now, having seen the original back
in 1991 with my (then) wife and (still) son in the theater was something to
behold. This was among the Disney
movies that generated a large vibe (which eventually led to people shiving
others for VHS copies, no joke). But,
like I said, times have now changed and you can expect more to follow. The shiving incidents have died down some,
probably from thinning the herd.
The new BEAUTY AND THE BEAST is everything you would want out of a
live-action version. Awesome sets,
extravagant costuming, and the heart of the original. But, aside from that, let’s take a closer look… Follow me down the rabbit hole (yes, pun
intended).
You start off with the prince getting cursed. If you feel this to be a spoiler, go do
something else, move along. He is
cursed by an angry sorceress who has disguised herself as some homeless lady,
while he is hosting an extravagant party.
She barges in and stops everything so that she may beg for a place to
stay for the night. I would like to
refer to Wiki here –
In criminal law, entrapment is a practice whereby a law
enforcement agent induces a person to commit a criminal offence that the person
would have otherwise been unlikely to commit.
It "is the conception and planning of an offence by an officer, and
his procurement of its commission by one who would not have perpetrated it
except for the trickery, persuasion or fraud of the officer."
So, looking close, she stumbles into a party he is responsible for,
he has tipped back a few drinks, and she expects him to suddenly feel the need
to house a smelly, dirty lady who he does not know. To me, this screams the sorceress’s only intent was to curse this
man, nothing more. Sure, he may be a
douchebag and be ugly on the inside, but he didn’t go out of his way to wrong
her. Somehow, this great and powerful
sorceress felt the need to punish this guy by turning him into a beast, and to
make it more extreme, to include turning all his undeserving servants into
household items. Hmmm…
Okay, now, here comes the lovely Belle. She starts singing about her hopes and wanting to leave her
‘provincial’ life. She sings with the
town, all throughout town, about how she wants more. My first thought is how our star Emma Watson must have gone
through a ton of training hours to learn how to ‘sing and smile’. This must have been a grueling practice; I
wouldn’t even want to imagine the suffering she must have endured. No one smiles that much, sorry. Then, you have the townsfolk singing about
how they find her beautiful but odd, as she is passing by. This goes on for minutes… minutes. And at the end, she comes into her house and
says to her father about she ‘thinks’ people talk about her as being odd. You say?
On to Belle’s father, the perfectly cast Kevin Kline as
Maurice. He seems normal at the start
and has a sense of right and wrong.
Also, after having lived in Paris, you would assume he has been exposed
to proper etiquette. Maurice gets into
a little trouble with navigating the countryside roads and eventually finds a
hidden castle down a dark lonely road.
Yes, the weather is bad and wolves are after him and his horse, no doubt
needing a refuge. But, for whatever
reason, he barges into the prince’s home, someone who he does not know, and
decides to wander around and the gall to sit down to eat a dinner prepared for,
who you could only assume from his position, the resident of the castle. Where did the French learn manners? How could he not see this as a breech of
someone’s privacy? Then, in fear, he
runs out into the garden area to escape the talking teacup. In said garden, he finds a rose and thinks
nothing of taking that, either. Ya
following me here?
Speaking of talking objects, let’s move to Mr. Lumière. Ewan McGregor is a stellar addition. But, shouldn’t this be a little
troubling. If you were to at least cast
one Frenchman in this film, shouldn’t Lumière be the obvious choice… if only to
avoid the ‘whitewash’ epidemic. But you
pick a Scotsman to be the most French character. And, how about his dancing around and touching everything? He is a frickin lit candle. In addition, his girlfriend is a feather
duster, Plumette… a feather duster. His love should have gone up in a blaze right in front of his
eyes. In fact, everything should have
gone up in a blaze with as handsy as he was.
As a bibliophile, I want to make one thing clear about the
motivations that move the plot. This is
not a true love story between a woman and a beast – it is a love story between
a woman and her love for books. If not
for that magnificent library, Beast would have been stuck as a furry plush toy. Books win her over, she never loves
him. When she thought she might lose
her library and all the magical servants (remember the things she wanted at the
start, not living like a normal person, a ‘provincial’ person), she ‘claims’ to
love him. This story should have ended
very differently.
There are plenty of other possible points to examine but I will hold
off. Items such as Fast and the Furious
Chip, the addition of sexually confused characters, and the darkness found in
Disney’s wolf-bait scene. But, to the
point, BEAUTY AND THE BEAST is still a magical story filled with Disney wonder. There is no point in telling you to go see
it… you already know that.
Grade: B+
