"Obscurities and Abject Pandering: What You’re Missing
on NETFLIX"
NEW ARRIVALS
Comedy/Irreverent
DOPE
(2015, R, 103 episodes, OPEN ROAD/UNIVERSAL)
Arguably one of the best movies of 2015, this film turns
several stereotypes on their collective heads. By redefining the raunchy teen
comedy, and then punching you in your brain with the final moments,
writer/director/genius Rick Famuyiwa (THE WOOD) has created a film that is
surprisingly fresh and uniquely grandiose in scope. Essentially, and without giving
away any spoilers, the story centers on Malcolm (Shameik Moore, whom captures
the doubt and anxiety of being a teen better than most), a high schooler
obsessed with the hip-hop style and sounds of the ’90s. Fate thrusts a backpack
of ill repute into his hands, and the rest of the film isn’t just about the
illegal contents of said backpack, or Malcolm and his friends trying to unload
it. This is a coming-of-age story, with boobs and drugs and bad language and
great music, and a big old punch in the brain. And Zoe Kravitz. Oh, yes, Zoe
Kravitz.
Horror/International
WHEN ANIMALS DREAM
(2014, R, 84 minutes, ALPHAVILLE PICTURES)
This beautiful and vicious Danish horror film is a haunting
tale about young Marie (played by the arresting Sonia Suhl), for whom puberty
becomes a real…okay, “bear” is definitely not the right word, as the hair she
starts growing from her chest and back is a mite bit longer than Yogi or
Smokey’s. This movie puts a nifty spin on the whole 'teen angst' thing, giving
Marie a darn good reason to be rebellious. It seems that she has the same
affliction as her mother, whom is kept medicated to contain her inner beast.
But being young and in love gives the character some edge. The cinematography
of this picture is amazing, and sets the tone early. The acting, from the
scared townsfolk to Marie’s poor schmuck of a father, is great, but this is
young Sonia’s film. She is a marvelous actress, brave and visceral and at
times, downright spooky.
Action & Adventure/Quirky
TURBO KID
(2015, NR—hard “R”, 93 minutes, EPIC PICTURES GROUP)
Produced and written like a movie from the 1980’s, KID
harkens back to the gratuitous gore and mayhem of that era with a gleeful
indifference to reality and all that is serious about physics and the factual
amount of blood contained in the human body. The story is about “The Kid”
(“Degrassi” alum Munro Chambers), an orphan fending for himself in a
post-apocalyptic world. He befriends The World’s Most Annoying Girl (the
gorgeous and wonderfully unhinged Laurence Leboeuf), and then loses her to the
local baddie, Zeus (Michael Ironside—another ‘80’s favorite, so he looks
perfectly at home as the evil villain). The rest of the movie, which is
chock-full of great movie references (there are several nods to BLADE RUNNER and
ROBOCOP, not to mention half of the stupid Corey Haim “movies” of that bygone
time), is all about bicycle chase scenes, Mortal Kombat-looking henchmen, and a
plethora of new and interesting ways to cut people in half. Whatever you do,
put on you fun cap and leave all seriousness behind when you watch this film.
And always remember to carry your Gnomestick.
Action/Adventure
THE RUNDOWN
(2003, PG-13, 104 minutes, COLUMBIA PICTURES/UNIVERSAL
PICTURES)
Oh, yes. This badass classic action film was Dwayne “The
Rock” Johnson’s first starring role outside of laying the smack down for WWE.
The fact that he is paired with Stifler (Seann William Scott) and pitted
against the awesome Christopher Walken seals the deal. Johnson plays a tough
guy who works for a mob-type boss, who is assigned with fetching the boss’s son
(Scott) from a small mining town in the Amazon. However, the town is run by the
evil oppressor who owns the mine, and the people that work it. This film is
funnier than it has any right to be; the chemistry between Johnson and Scott is
palpable, and they play well off of each other. This is kind of like MIDNIGHT
RUN IN THE JUNGLE, but with less swearing and more badassery (yes, that’s a
word) (I just made it up, and it exists now, so shut it, lest I need to OPEN UP
A CAN OF BADASSERY UPON YE). Johnson carries himself with enough confidence and
comedic timing that there should have been no doubt that he was an instant
movie star. And Walken…if you aren’t giggling when he brings up the tooth
fairy, there is something wrong with your brain. Seriously, go get that thing
checked out.
-- T.S. Kummelman
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