'Blu-ray or Bust' - THE JUNGLE BOOK

'Blu-ray or Bust'

THE JUNGLE BOOK (2016, PG, 106 minutes, FAIRVIEW ENTERTAINMENT/WALT DISNEY PICTURES)

Jon Favreau has magic eyeballs.  Really.

The visionary—and I’ll fight you on this one, if I have to—director of IRON MAN, CHEF, and ELF knows how to tell a story so well that you are willing to buy into it from the first frame.  He pays attention to details a person with ordinary eyeballs wouldn’t even think to do, all in an effort to get you to pay attention to the story.  Even if you have heard it before.

In his live-action reimagining of the Disney classic, Favreau not only has you believing animals can talk, but he does so with a righteous zeal that you accept as scripture.  OF COURSE a man could build a flying, bullet-proof suit in the caves of a desert!  OF COURSE a human could be mistaken for an elf!  And, like the aforementioned talking animals, OF COURSE Christopher Walken as the voice of a gigantic ape is entirely plausible!

The casting is as ingenious as the animation.  Walken does a terrific job as baddie “King Louie”, but he isn’t the only voice in the film.  Scarlett Johansson, Idris Elba (he makes a wonderfully scary Shere Khan), and Ben Kingsley also lend their talents.  The one that most gives Walken a run for his money in the voice department is the hysterically under-played talent of Bill Murray.  His lazy “Baloo” earns the most laughs, and you can imagine Murray lounging on a couch, carefully—and not to mention, rather lackadaisically—reading his lines, not a care in the world.

Again, you have Favreau’s magic eyeballs to thank for every stinkin’ detail; from the actors to Baloo’s fur, he misses not a single beat.  He is also smart enough not to rest the entirety of this production upon the shoulders of newcomer Neel Sethi (“Mowgli”).  Don’t get me wrong—Sethi does a wonderful job in his first feature film, especially considering the fact that he was playing to illusion most of the time.  But surrounding him with bonafide movie star voices makes his hesitancy, his human emotions and fallacies, that much more applicable to the situations. By drawing attention away from him with a familiar voice, Favreau also manages to make you not forget any part of this boy’s journey.

Magic eyeballs, I tell ya.

If you do not purchase this on Blu-ray, there is something wrong with your brain.  Seriously, look up “neurologist” in the phone book and go have your noggin checked out.  The movie translates even better to the small screen than it did in theatres.  The animation, the voice acting, and the music all come through crisper and clearer with the transition to video.  Until you hear Baloo’s thundering paws barreling through the jungle, you haven’t experienced this film the way you should.  And the special features include a thirty-five minute documentary which shows you every trick these humans used to pull off a film that should not be as realistic and plausible as it should be.

Go watch this film, and watch it on Blu-ray.  Go put some of Jon Favreau’s magic in your eyeballs.

Grade: A

Special Features: A+

Blu-ray Necessary: Most Definitely

-- T.S. Kummelman

“Obscurities and What the Hell Was That?!?: The Stuff You’re Definitely Missing on NETFLIX”

“Obscurities and What the Hell Was That?!?: The Stuff You’re Definitely Missing on NETFLIX”

The following picks should keep you busy for the next few weeks; if not, you, like me, have way too much time on your hands… weirdo.  We should start a support group!  At least until “Luke Cage” comes out on September 30^th; then, I might be unavailable for a bit…

NEW ARRIVALS

TV/DRAMA

MARCELLA

(2016, TV-MA, 8 episodes, 45 Min. each, NETFLIX ORIGINALS)

Expect a nomination for Anna Friel’s performance of the mentally unstable Detective Marcella Backland, a woman on the brink of madness.  Well, it isn’t so much as a “brink” as it is “did she just freaking do what I think she just freaking did?!?”.  While there are a few unfortunate holes in this sometimes typical procedural, there are enough surprises and characters to keep you guessing.  This is a well-executed whodunit, with richly drawn characters and strong acting that never lets you down.  It is also one of the few shows with one of the most diverse casts you will find.  It is refreshing to see and hear the heartbeat of this story, indeed what I imagine the real London is actually like, in the ethnic and cultural diversity on display here.  No stereotypes, just well-designed lives with intertwining stories.  Oh, and a few lunatics.  The story itself is about Marcella re-joining the police force after her husband leaves her.  She gets caught up in the investigation of a serial murderer, the identity of whom you probably will not see coming.  Just don’t try to watch it all in one sitting; the story is pretty heavy, and should be taken in, say, no more than a couple of doses a night.  LIKE ME.

International/Drama/Independent

PAUL VERHOEVEN’S TRICKED

(2012, NR, 88 minutes, FCCE/AMSTELFILM)

The director of ROBOCOP, BASIC INSTINCT, and STARSHIP TROOPERS likes to stretch his limits.  In this production, he had screenwriter and fellow Netherlander Kim van Kooten write four pages of a script.  Then, they allowed the residents of their home country to complete the rest.  He and another writer sat down with all of the submissions, pulled the best stuff from all of them, and came up with a fifty-five minute film that is fun (and occasionally painful) to watch.  You would never guess, from the final production, that thousands of people had a hand in figuring this story all out.  All you need to know is that a family man, on his fiftieth birthday, and on the verge of losing his company, hits rock bottom when one of his girlfriend’s shows up to his party pregnant.  That is the first few minutes of the film, the original scripted part; the rest, well, is fun.  None of the people in this film are all that likeable, but that isn’t the point.  This is art, created in a way that is original and fresh.  In fact, the first half hour of the Netflix presentation is actually a documentary on how they did it.  You should not fast-forward, by the way.  Listen to Paul and the rest of the production team and watch as they create, ponder, come up with a color scheme for the ever-changing story, and eschew on the number of submitted pages they actually had to go through.  Then watch the film itself, and see if you aren’t surprised with how cohesive (and amorally rewarding) the story turns out.  And yes, it is subtitled, but you’ll feel smarter afterwards, so stop complaining and go watch the damn thing.

The LETHAL WEAPON Movies

(1987 – 1998, R, approx. 120 minutes Each, WARNER BROTHERS/SILVER PICTURES)

Someone at Fox Studios thought it would be a good idea to turn this beloved franchise into a TV show.  It doesn’t debut on the network until September 21^st, which gives you plenty of time to catch up on the classics beforehand.  The first film is interesting to watch in that it re-invigorated a washed up genre: the “buddy-cop” films.  Shane Black’s first released script (MONSTER SQUAD came out later in ’87) turns the typical odd-couple concept on its head, introducing a chemistry between the two leads that may have wavered in later films, but still kept the series going for four decent enough films.  The strongest is the second one, the weakest the third, but all are worth a watch.  Or a re-watch.  Do it before the show airs, to better judge the new cast (Damon Wayans and Clayne Crawford in the roles made famous by Danny Glover and Mel Gibson).  Besides, part of the third installment was filmed in Clearwater; watch and see if you can recognize the location.

-        T.S. Kummelman

You guys have been a little slow, lately… no challenges?!?  This is a lot easier than it sounds, kids; Netflix always throws some stupid sounding queues together for you (Quirky Bollywood Movies, Foreign Horror Comedies, etc), so think of something creative and make me hunt this stuff down!  Otherwise, I’m binge watching “Stranger Things” as many times as I can over the next few weeks…

The 'Not-So-Critical' Critic: MECHANIC: RESURRECTION

The 'Not-So-Critical' Critic: 

on MECHANIC:  RESURRECTION (2016, 98 minutes, R)

 

The Quick of It -

This is an ode to all bad action films.  Statham, you disappoint me.  Your parents should be ashamed.  I’m not even saying this because the film is a sequel, not living up to the original’s hype.  I say this because it was just a disaster from the start. 

I am a huge fan of Jason Statham, and have been without question.  He has been apart of some above-mediocre projects before, but this is by far the worst.  I do not understand how he could let this happen.  His stock in Hollywood should not be this bad! 

RESURRECTION continues his Arthur Bishop role, but is put into the trope of ‘bad guy kidnaps girl to make good guy do what he wants’.  Oh, how about we make him realize at the start that this is a trap?  How about we actually make them fall in love in a day’s time?  How about we make her more sympathetic by having her an ex-vet now schoolteacher at a school with kids who were rescued from human trafficking… in Cambodia?  Ok…

Oh, and the love interest… Jessica Alba.  Pleasant on the eyes, so should be a good addition… nope.  Do not be fooled thinking any super-hot love scene is incorporated here to push the bar up to make this worth seeing.  Oh, there is a scene… but could have been put on by some frisky Puritans for all I could tell.

And don’t think Tommy Lee Jones is there to save anything.  He is a ‘rock star’ arms dealer, with plenty of piercings and leather.  Looked like a reject of the Rolling Stones tribute band.  I love the man as an actor but this was ridiculous. 

Everything is wrong with the film.  At the start, the outdoor fight scene is clearly indoors and has some 80’s dressed bad girl confronting Bishop with a band of thugs.  But the fight sequence was good… so some hope.  Then they put us at his next hideaway, far from civilization.  More horrible dialogue, terrible story development, and crappy shot placement, sending me further down the spiral.  This looked like a film student trying to do his best, and failing.  Dennis Gansel, a German trained director, shows that he is still too green for any larger budget projects.  The screenplay writers Philip Shelby and Tony Mosher should hide their heads for a while, until the dust settles and everyone forgets. 

Spoiler examples you ask… sure!  How about the first assassination job, on an African arms dealer who is being detained on an island prison.  Oh, and sharks in the water, can’t forget the sharks.  The guy is about to be killed by a past lieutenant of his.  No… Bishop decides to kill the lieutenant right before the deadly blow, get invited to a private dinner, and then kill the guy there.  Ahh…?

Or, how about the second kill.  He is to kill another arms dealer who has a penthouse in a 70-story building, with a pool that hangs over the edge.  Cool concept for an accidental kill.  But once completed and Bishop slides into a room a few stories below, with the window closed, you can hear the guys screaming as he passes the window and then hit the ground with a splat… from 60-plus stories above…  Who knew?

The writing was atrocious, the acting could not save a clip of celluloid, and the plot holes were too numerous to count… and I’m not watching again to get an accurate count.  As an added insult to themselves, they knew how bad the holes were, they added scenes to try and fill some of the problems, making those awkward “oh, that was how it was done” or “that explains why or how he knew that”.  Yes, that bad.

Grade: D-