"Obscurities and Abject Pandering: What You’re Missing
on NETFLIX"
NEW ARRIVALS
Horror/Drama
BYZANTIUM
(2012, R, 118 minutes, DEMAREST FILMS)
The best vampire films are usually the ones that have no
sparkle to them. Lately, auteurs of the classic genre are being more poetic and
artistic than, say, oh, ANYONE AND EVERYONE THAT HAD ANYTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH
THE STUPID “TWILIGHT” “MOVIES”.
Sorry. Case in point is the beautifully
haunting tale of a mother and daughter trying to survive in a seaside
town. Their secret is that they
themselves are the hunters, each having been transformed centuries ago. The portrayal of modern undead survival is
gritty and visceral, gory at times but painfully realistic with every emotion
on display. Yes, deep down, this is a
love story. But it is also about
sacrifice and need, and rises high above crap like, say, oh, FREAKING
“TWILIGHT”.
Sci Fi/Drama
INFINI
(2015, R, 110 minutes, STORM VISION ENTERTAINMENT)
Straight-to-video science fiction is usually a marketplace
for turds. Cheaply produced with
horrible actors and even worse directors, these “films” usually fall in the
category of “so bad they suck mosquito nipples”. But occasionally, you come across an amazing piece of
filmmaking. Well acted, well written,
and awesomely produced, INFINI is probably THE BEST science fiction film you
will find on Netflix right now. I know,
because I’ve watched some pretty stinky turds.
Starring Australian actor Daniel MacPherson, the film centers on a tiny
mining station at the edge of the universe, and the lone survivor of a
contagion trying to get back home to his pregnant wife. A military rescue team is sent to retrieve
Carmichael, and all hell breaks loose.
MacPherson is stellar in his performance as Whit Carmichael; in fact,
the entire cast does a great job. And
the production value of this film…the attention to every tiny detail is
absorbing and fascinating. There is
some CGI, but the practical effects are done well enough so that any animation
you see is more a compliment than it is a distraction. Be prepared to be engrossed after the first
fifteen minutes; there is an unrelenting building of tension that releases its
grasp on you only when the credits start to roll. In fact, the unexpected climax of the film is not a gun-fight or
a race against time, but rather a psychological exercise in proving a lie to be
truth. I rank this one right up there
with EVENT HORIZON. Don’t pass it up.
Drama
WHITE GOD
(2014, R, 121 minutes, FILMPARTNERS/MAGNET RELEASING)
This Hungarian coming-of-age tale is like a fractured fable
for adults. Lili is a young girl forced
to stay with her estranged father for three months; the problem is that he
despises her mixed-breed dog, and one day sets “Hagen” loose on the side of a busy
highway. The subsequent chain of events
constructs a plateau with some startling images. At times the film will take your breath away, and at others will
make you cringe at the fallacies of man.
There is a lesson in love and growth here; as we watch Lili, played by
the wonderful Zsófia Psotta, mature through her adolescence, we too see Hagen’s
journey through cruelty at the hands of his “masters”. Terribly moving, absorbing, and original,
watch this one before Hollywood snaps up the rights and ruins this remarkable
film with a remake called “Dog-mageddon”…
Instead of: BURYING THE EX (a not-so-funny horror comedy
about a guy’s domineering ex-girlfriend that comes back from the grave—good
effects, bad writing)
Watch: ALL CHEERLEADERS DIE (zombie cheerleaders trying to
finish high school—it’s a horror film, it’s a comedy, it’s a social
commentary—in short, it’s awesome)
Instead of: AREA 51 (a boring-ass “found footage” film of
three people breaking into the famed military base—it takes over fifty minutes
of “movie” for them to get onto the base, and then another twenty-five to get
abducted…and you’d rather see these horrible actors meet horrifying deaths than
think aliens are taking them as plausible representations of the human race…)
Watch: THE MONSTER SQUAD (the 1987 “family friendly” film
has enough bad language and slurs to make you wonder how you made it through
your childhood without a filthy mouth—a group of adolescents go up against
classic movie monsters)
Make up a queue kids, and put me to work! Suggestions are always welcome, so get
creative! I’m always up to new
challenges!
No comments:
Post a Comment