“Blu-ray or Bust”
FURIOUS 7 (2015, PG-13, 137 minutes, MEDIA RIGHTS
CAPITAL/UNIVERSAL)
Allow me to make one thing perfectly clear: I hated the
first film. Couldn’t even finish
watching it.
The acting was horrible and the writing horrendous (my butt
produces better dialogue on Taco Salad Tuesdays). It was trying to be POINT BREAK with cars. I made it an hour in and got to a scene
where Vin Diesel (at the time, I remember wondering if that was his stripper
name, or did he find it at that awesome rest stop called “South of the Border”,
stamped into the bottom of a snow globe—MADE IN VINDIESEL, or something of that
nature) is sitting at a picnic table, trying to act. The “dialogue” was such that it broke the state of stupidity the
film had thrown me into, and I was able to flee the room, screaming like a
bee-stung infant, able to cling to the tiny part of my intelligence that still
remained.
I have not watched any of the other films since then. Steered clear of them, like a recovering
crack addict stays away from pipe cleaners.
So why attempt to watch one of the sequels now?
Because of ‘The Rock’.
And, Diesel’s acting has improved markedly since that first turd hit the
screens. And because if this film
represents the finale of the late Paul Walker’s career, I figure I should at
least find out what all of the fuss was about.
Turns out, this film is better than the first. It isn’t great; it is not a cinematic
masterpiece, it isn’t a flawless example of how great film can be, and it
certainly is not a lesson in physics.
The key is to go in looking to be entertained. That is what these films are: high adrenaline stunts in settings
that try to outdo the previous crazy-as-hell spectacles of eye candy. The story itself is not very complicated; it
can’t be, or its target audience would be bored and confused. The story is about a crew of speed and
reckless endangerment junkies being hunted down by the brother (Jason Statham)
of the baddie from the previous film.
Don’t worry if you haven’t seen the last thirty films—I didn’t either,
and I wasn’t lost. The only things you
should know going in is that Walker’s character has a wife (the sister of
Diesel’s “Dom”) and a baby, and Michelle Rodriguez cannot remember a thing from
the previous movies (which I suspect is on purpose—I mean, does she really want
to remember? I wouldn’t…).
The rest is cars driving out of airplanes, cars building-hopping,
and cars zooming through the streets.
The Rock shows up with a gun as big as his own guns, Ludacris and Tyrese
Gibson are on hand to crack wise, and the director, James Wan, lets us see how
big his mental testicles really are.
Again, it’s entertainment for the sheer sake of
entertainment, and if the tribute to Walker at the end feels like it runs a wee
bit long, forgive the filmmakers; no matter how much I hate the first film,
this is a seven film franchise. If it
were not successful, if it did not have a fan base, none of the spectacle would
matter.
There are several special features on the disc, included a
thirty-minute long piece during which Wan breaks down several key scenes (aka,
stunts). They also show you how they
did the stunt with the C-130, which is pretty cool.
Diesel and Statham will both be on hand for the next
installment of a franchise that, from this outing, is starting to resemble THE
EXPENDABLES in that they are attracting other action stars. One of the biggest payoffs of this film is
watching Kurt Russel back in action.
And, it will be interesting to see what stunts they can come up with for
the eighth go-round. Mark my words now: they’ve conquered land and air—aquatic
cars, anyone?
Film Grade: B-
Special Features: B+
Blu-ray Necessary: Most Definitely
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