Wednesday, April 18, 2018

‘Blu-ray or Bust’ - INSIDIOUS: THE LAST KEY


‘Blu-ray or Bust’
INSIDIOUS: THE LAST KEY (2018, PG-13, 103 Minutes, BLUMHOUSE PRODUCTIONS/SONY)


Perhaps, this time, it’s my fault.

You see, I only watched the first two INSIDIOUS films; it was not that I didn’t enjoy them, as I found the first entry to be a rather refreshing, if not downright spooky, tale.  It was effective, had a great cast, and the scares felt original.  The second one… eh.  It was okay.  Creepy violin.  Kind of spooky.  When the third came out, I pretty much ignored it, as other James Wan productions seemed mere copycats of his first few scary entries in the horror genre (which includes SAW and THE CONJURING).  All of the other films (THE CONJURING 2, ANNABELLE, and every stinkin’ SAW sequel) involved the same set-ups, the same types of scares, the same story construction.


I didn’t really have high hopes for THE LAST KEY, and I was still disappointed.  The only standout performance is from series mainstay Lin Shaye, who continues the role of psychic Elise Rainier.  Her devotion to the role is commendable, but even so, she looks tired here, as if she is consciously thinking “dear Sweet Baby Hey-Zeus, I signed up for this AGAIN?!?”.  Also returning are Leigh Whannell and Angus Sampson as her bumbling assistants.  They do absolutely nothing to cement their necessity in any further adventures; if anything, Sampson’s “Tucker” comes off as “creepy dude with mullet”, and Whannell (who also wrote all of the INSIDIOUS films) comes across as a time filler.  Neither are bad actors, but their roles are just plain silly.  They were effective in the first entry, but now they are comic relief that isn’t even remotely funny.


This entry of the franchise involves Elise having to travel back to her childhood home to confront the horrors that she had to suffer through then.  Only this time, predictability leads the way.  It’s films like this that turn original ideas into cash grabs; very few horror franchises seem to ever try to offer up anything different, and the repeated ideas and cheap scare tactics turn them into droll rehashes that tend to negate whatever effect the original film had.  And that really is a shame.  The first INSIDIOUS was (sorry to repeat myself) great; the first SAW film was great; THE CONJURING, HELLRAISER, PARANORMAL ACTIVITY, HALLOWEEN—all started off as genre-busting frightmares that were wholly original and terribly unapologetic in their manipulation of the viewer’s senses.  They were wonderful, and then the studio decided to make sequel after sequel after stupid freaking sequel.

So this time around, if you haven’t figured out the ending before the movie slowly rumbles its way there, then you haven’t been paying attention to every better horror film that preceded this bucket of regurgitated monkey poo.  And don’t think we are safe from any more of those buckets, either; Wan is producing another CONJURING film, and an offshoot of the “crooked man” from THE CONJURING 2.  Also, he is working on THE NUN—yet another offshoot of that decrepit sequel.  Mark my words—there will probably be a standalone film about the villain from THE LAST KEY, as well.  I can tell, because they gave him a name in the credits, and the name is stupid, kids, unabashedly stupid.


“KeyFace”.

Seriously.

Why, you ask, is that name stupid (besides the obvious)?  Because the keys were ON HIS FRICKING FINGERS.

Suddenly, it seems that the people that were coming up with those original ideas have all decided to continue their mental vacations, because—for some inane reason—people keep buying movie tickets so they can see what is in those proverbial buckets.  (IT’S REGURGITATED MONKEY POO, PEOPLE!!) (FREAKIN’ SPOILER ALERT)

Film Grade: D
Special Features: Seriously?!?
Blu-ray Necessary: Oh hell no!

-- T.S.Kummelman

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