“Blu-ray or Bust” - THE SHALLOWS

“Blu-ray or Bust”

THE SHALLOWS (2016, PG-13, 86 minutes, COLUMBIA PICTURES/OMBRA FILMS)

It is hard for me to figure out who is luckier: Blake Lively, or Ryan Reynolds.

Seriously—she’s married to Deadpool, for Pete-the-Dragon’s sake. He’s snarky, badass, and sexy. He, on the other hand, is married to Nancy—badass surfer girl who fights a shark. Has Deadpool fought a shark? Nope. Battled jellyfish? Uh-uh. Been in a life or death situation—WITH HERMIT CRABS?!? You see my dilemma?

THE SHALLOWS is a survivor thriller/slasher movie that is required watching. Seriously—go watch this movie before you talk to me again. Lively stars as “Nancy”, a surfer/med student that finds herself stranded on an itty-bitty rock a few hundred yards from shore. Between her and the beautiful sandy beach is one pissed off great white shark. It seems Nancy has stumbled onto its feeding grounds, and, like me at a buffet featuring fried okra and shrimp. Lord help anyone that gets in the way. In this case, the shark is protecting its rights to a dead whale, not an aluminum tray full of fried okra (although I’m pretty sure the okra tastes better).

Nancy is a resilient, persistent character; she doesn’t want to kill the shark, she just wants to go back home, opposed to being an appetizer (don’t we all…). And not since JAWS has a film shown this much respect and horrifying realism to that particular alpha predator. The majority of the creature itself might be CGI’d, but it is damn fine and realistic artwork.

This film is entirely necessary on Blu-ray—I would tell you this even if the locations and artistry of the film weren’t so dang lovely to look at. The scenes of Nancy diving under the waves is worth the price of admission alone, not to mention the scene with the jellyfish… Most importantly, and, most obviously, I would tell you to get this on Blu-ray because it stars BLAKE I’M SUPER GORGEOUS LIVELY.

The special features include a few short (five to seven minute) docs on filming in the ocean, finding the perfect beach, and the difficulties of making practical use of both locations. There are also deleted scenes, and a conversation with a shark attack survivor and a professor that tries to scoff at the film but cannot because it could actually happen. Just like JAWS.

If you are looking for a good thriller for Halloween, this is a must-see. It has all the elements of your classic horror films, and one heck of a finale. And Deadpool’s wife is in it. If you don’t watch it, he might hurt you.

Film Grade: A

Special Features: A

Blu-ray Necessary: Most Definitely

-- T.S. Kummelman